![]() ![]() Suffice it to say there’s a ton of weird shit to do that either involves you sticking shit up your ass or sticking your dick-head where it doesn’t belong. After all, it’s completely linear and has no real puzzles, but the first playthrough will have you laughing like an idiot throughout. It’s an entertaining story I’ll say that much. I’m not going to run you through the whole story, because you should play this game for yourself and check it out. It’s up to the narrator to let you know why you’re actually doing what you’re doing on screen. The dicks don’t actually talk in this game. There’s the constant narration by this chill woman who’s just sort of describing everything that’s happening to you and giving you some insider information. I mean, the game thrives on being goofy and lighthearted.īack to the old John, he’s a very lovable character, for a penis. That would have made the game look grotesque, though. I guess the dicks could just as easily have looked like actual penises, with veins and hairs all over the place. The whole cheerful and colorful vibe it gives off really helps you understand the kind of goofy fun you’re in for. I think this was for the best, because the game doesn’t look half bad. They drew some dicks, put some clothes and sunglasses on them, and then went on their merry way. I mean, I’m sure they had at least one artist on the team, but it’s not like they went overboard in the 3D software. Either way, it’s the kind of super plain, super colorful 3D art style that lets indie developers make a lot of content really fast without having to worry about hiring artists. ![]() This game’s art style follows a trendy matte art style that I think they call “cel-shading”. ![]() You want to be sitting next to people while you ram your head up their ass, so that you can point at them and laugh, teasingly. Most of the fun that comes from party games like these happens thanks to the hanging out factor. I warmly recommend you try out the multiplayer mode, but don’t expect to get much out of the online mode. Genital Jousting is a great party game in its own right, and that’s the end of that. The fact that everyone’s role-playing as a penis is entirely unrelated and really you can just disregard it. In the end, it’s just a bunch of people running around a 2D plane trying to dunk on each other while making jokes and sipping some Mountain Dew. Maybe don’t play it with your parents, but anyone other than that should be fair game. It’s a great title to play with all and any of your friends. You don’t have to keep the girls away from this game. Anyways, the game’s cute art style and generally loose mood makes this an absolute delight to play with your buddies. All you’re trying to do is fuck each other up the ass. The idea is that you’re all dicks with butts and a pair of balls. It’s just a fun little mini-game that lets you duke it out against up to 7 other players, either from the comfort of your couch or over the internet. This mode has nothing to do with the John chronicles. But that’s just like real life, isn’t it? Especially if you work in corporate.Įven though Genital Jousting comes with the epic saga of John, the named penis, it’s actually more famous for the multiplayer mode. Yes, everyone’s a dick, and they’re all pretty much out to fuck you in the ass, headfirst. So the game’s actually perfectly innocent. I review pussy for a living, and I never thought I’d have to face a question that’s this confusing or this sexual. Why would butted penises need vibrators? That I do not know. You play as John, a penis who works in corporate at a company that seemingly produces dildos and vibrators, among other things. The jokes are funny, and the gameplay is entertaining, but the whole thing is made ridiculous by the fact that every character in this game is a penis with balls and an asshole.Īgain, no, I’m not having a stroke this is literally what the game is about. It’s a sort of casual indie game in which you solve some basic puzzles while a narrator throws jokes your way. It is not a sexy game, by any means, even though it flat out shows dicks going in and out of assholes. I’m literally describing the premise behind Genital Jousting. This dick happens to be named John, and he’s looking for a date for his high school reunion. ![]() Ironically, when I’m not playing with my dick, I appear to be playing with someone else’s dick. All the fap-worthy games leave my dick blue in the face and leave me with some chuckles. It’s nice to take a break once in a while. ![]()
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